Courage is curiously the most celebrated virtue in most children’s books and films - the courage to save themselves and others, the courage to speak up, the courage to overcome obstacles, the courage to believe in themselves, the courage to rebel. Children seem to need endless courage to carry on living.
It’s often forgotten how fragile and vulnerable we were in our early years. We needed so much to survive well. From the Romanian orphans study, we learned that our young selves could physically survive with limited nourishment, but developmentally no one stood a chance without our softer needs fulfilled. Our survival entirely hinged on the mercy of our caregivers.
Even with good enough parents or caregivers, we were often defenceless. We got scared and cried in the middle of the night while nobody seemed to hear us when we were two; we got lost in a department store when we were three; we broke a possession that was dear to us when we were four; there was no one home except us for a long time when we were five; we received punishment that was outrageously disproportional to our crime when we were six; our teacher said something mean or responded unsympathetic to us when we were seven; our parents’s friend kissed us on the lips that felt kind of wrong when we were eight… if we were brave enough to keep recounting, we would easily lay awake all night.
